I began to trust in God in winter 1994, after I first attended the Bible study group of students at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut, USA. God gave me the faith to believe that He is alive, true and is concerned with us.
The faith that I received was something quite unexpected and supernatural. I was educated in an atheistic family in a communist country, where religion or faith in God was considered an "opium of mankind". Since my childhood I used to rely on my intellect rather than on my feelings. I am a mathematician, in particular I deal with theory of probability and mathematical statistics. In school I was taught scientific reasoning, collecting and evaluating facts, observations and measurements, formulation and proving mathematical hypotheses. As in all other situations, in the issue of faith also, I did my best to be a disinterested observer. It was quite clear to me that God's existence cannot be proven by any physical measurement. Both conceptions, religious and atheistic, are represented by trustworthy and wise people, so that this matter was not resolvable by customary means. My mathematical way of reasoning did not allow me to reject any possible hypothesis about the world around me, and so for a long time I had considered two irreconcilable alternatives in parallel, namely that both atheistic and Christian world conceptions might be true. At that time I knew little about other religions and so I did not include them in my considerations. This was my way of reasoning before my conversion to Christianity. (At the present time the idea of atheism that all living creatures in all their diversity came into existence from lifeless mass by some happy coincidence, seems to me very absurd.)
How did it happen that such a faithless Thomas as me began to trust in God and why did I attend the Christian group ? First I will answer the latter question. I was interested in spiritual things, we can call them "ways to God". I was interested in questions like how to get internal peace, how to overcome ups and downs, how to get clear of needless worries, how to make friends and how to get along well with people in general. I read books by Dale Carnegie, was interested in yoga, Buddhism, psychology, and finally, for the longest time (over 2 years) I studied and practized dianetics. Dianetics is a spiritual technique which promises to help people recover from consequences of traumatic accidents that they had in past, some of them even in former lifes. Now I must give great thanks to God that He prevented me from dangers of the dianetic therapy. At the same time He showed me a more precious way.
All the above mentioned theories or "ways to God", as I called them at those times, had one common factor. It was the idea that man can study and comprehend something by his own power and apply it in his life. He who practices, drills some good patterns of behavior will improve himself, will be closer to God in the sense of being closer to an ideal. This was not a bad idea. It seemed that many such ways to God exist and it is rather a matter of taste to select the most satisfactory one. Once somebody told me that Jesus Christ is also a way to God. I was not able to understand that, because it sounded too passive, like that it is enough to sit down, pray and wait, and the man receives everything from heaven. Since that time I have learned the truth that the most important things, forgiveness of sins and an eternal life are really gifts from God, are for free, and also that it is important to be able to await on God.
I had been dealing with various spiritual ways, but with the exception of Christianity. Later I got an idea, or somebody advised it to me, that the teachings I was studying were rather exotic in our country but I was overlooking something quite deep which was near to me. It is quite easy to purchase a Bible and come and meet people who lived the Christian faith. Churches exist almost in every larger village, but try to hunt an educated or experienced Buddhist or scientologist, who could answer the question that you may have! Hence I decided to extend my knowledge and read the Bible. In addition, I married a girl who was (and still is) Catholic. Every Sunday I guided her to mass, where I liked the unique sanctuary atmosphere and spiritual songs. However, when we were living in Prague, I had no time to seriously read the Bible because of my other hobbies and meetings with friends.
The appropriate time for reading the Scripture occured during my ten months business trip to the USA. I received the Fulbright grant for a research fellowship at Yale University in New Haven. My wife and I arrived to the USA and we were a bit lonely because of the language barrier and being far from our friends in Prague. After six months of our stay in New Haven I decided to start studying the Bible. Since I anticipated possible problems in understanding the Scripture, which seemed to be difficult, I first looked for a group of people that are interested in reading it as well. This is why I began to attend the Yale Standard group at Yale. Up to that time my life had seemed to flow in a logical and rational way and I thought that I control my destiny. (Now, when I am looking back to my life, I must admit that God led me somehow, although I did not notice it.) However, by my first visit at Yale Standard I entered the real supernatur realm.
When I and my wife came first to a meeting of the group, we only met three Christian girls of the Korean origin, all younger than us. It was a good thing, otherwise I would have been more bashful. By chance it was a day of some feast and most of the students departed for home to visit their parents and relatives. The girls were nice to us and although they were surprised by our visit, they talked with us and we sang songs from their hymn-books. The talk with one of the girls, Paulina, touched me most even before the meeting started which occurred because the girls had problems with getting keys for a locked seminar-room. I understood about 50 % of Paulina's fast speech, but one bit of information for me was crucial. It is a nice and creditable idea to start studying the Bible, but until I have faith in it, until I accept the Word in my heart, it will be of a little value for me. Look at the example of the pharisees, Jewish men of learning, who knew the Scripture, were able to memorize it, but their hearts were hard and Jesus criticized them a lot. It is the truth, I knew about that, and hence I become disappointed and sad. I had a strong desire for the knowledge, but my nice plan to gain profit from studying the Bible was going to fall apart, because I did not trust in God. It appeared not only to be a question of intellect and effort that I could invest and I felt helpless. With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Paulina told me that I should think about the word that she told me, it might happen that very evening or during the night that I will receive the gift of the faith. This prophecy was fulfilled. I went to the bed faithless, and in the morning I got up as a Christian.
I cannot remember exactly what dreams I had during that night. I remember only a few details. First, it was a great relief: the atheist part of my personality dropped off as an idle and heavy burden and I became free, peaceful and happy at that time. Also, I remember a great joy of my brother, who had become a Christian three years before me, in the dream was a witness of my conversion. I prayed shortly, gave thanks to God, and then I fell asleep again. In the morning I was still very surprised by the change that had happened to me. I decided not to tell anyone about my faith, not even my wife, and to wait for a few days to see if my faith endured. Also, I decided to continue attending the Yale Standard. Thanks be to God, my faith did not disappear, and I have trust in God for almost four years. Since the time I have undergone other changes connected with my decision to allow God to enter my life and repair what was wrong. The Lord has a great patience with me, He releases me from old and harmful customs, He humbles my pride and teaches me.
So far I have not explained any details of my new faith in God. At the very beginning my faith was very simple and can be expressed as follows: 1) God exists, is One and is very happy about my conversion. 2) Bible, the Holy Scripture is His own word written for us, and it is the truth. In addition, there was my decision to obey God and to be baptized in water. I wanted to be baptized still during my stay in the US, so that no one in Prague could be proud of bringing me to the faith. After my return to my country I planned to find a church - some Christian community - that I would like. My conversion was not classical in the sense that I would later realize more the problem of my sin, the necessity to repent and receive forgiveness. God has shown me great love and He has revealed my sin (and does it up to the present time) in parts, one by one, and gives me subsequently the grace of repentance. What is interesting, however, is that it became immediately clear to me after the conversion, that practicing dianetics as I had used to in Prague was a sin and I had to stop it immediately, because God hated it. I have some rational explanations for that, also, but they do not seem to be sufficient for other people who practice it. Teachers of dianetics in Prague claim that this spiritual technology is fully compatible with any religion and is neutral. It is true that it looks neutral, but God hates it. It is built on a human pride.
At the present time I know better the One that I trust. I understand deeper the sense and meaning of the Gospel, suffering and death of Jesus Christ and His resurrection. I know that Jesus Christ is the one and only way to God, to our heavenly Father. The great gap that separates many people from Him is only one thing, human sin. This gap can be overcome, because Jesus Christ was pierced for our transgression , the sin of each and every man. He was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him (Isaiah 53:5). He came to the earth from heaven to become the only possible and perfect offering for our sin. The forgiveness of sins can be accepted by the faith in God and in Jesus and by repentance. Salvation is found in no one else for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). The salvation of a human opens the door to receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit, which has various forms including miraculous signs (1 Corinthians 12). The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and selfcontrol (Gal. 5:22).
Let me mention two parables about the salvation. The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it (Matth. 13,45-46). The second parable is the journey of the Israel from its slavery in Egypt to their promised land. Egypt represents the slavery of sin, the deadlock and freedomless situation of an unconverted man. Then the man hears the voice of God and accepts an invitation to the real freedom, to the journey on a way which is not known in advance, but which leads to the kingdom of heaven. The way leads sometimes through desert, sometimes through places of rest, contains many problems and obstacles, but if the man keeps holding God's hand, he is safely brought to the goal, to the everlasting the everlasting closeness to God.
As concerns me, I was lead to water baptism, in Prague I found my place in the church named Christian Fellowship and accepted a delegation to serve children in the Sunday School (children church meetings). Later I was baptized in the Holy Spirit (by Jesus). As time flows, I have lost many delusions about myself, but have experienced more how great, powerful, holy, loving, patient and graceful our God is. I wish the same to everyone who reads these lines.
Petr Tichavsky, Prague, December 10, 1998.